Turning crises into success, with Charly Jaffe (part 1) – Integrally Alive Podcast

What is the gift in this situation? Sounds familiar? If, like me, you heard it so much that you kind of can’t hear it anymore, you’re going to love what Charly brings on the topic!

Yes, she went through some crises that not one of us would like to experience. And yes, over time, these same challenges became her greatest teachers. And… It didn’t happen overnight.

So if you are up for some spiritual bullshit busting, and resilience tool, jump on this episode!

Stay tuned for next week’s episode, with Charly. Beyond her story, she shares more about her experience in writing the book with her father.

“Doing that healing work, owning my story, and then sharing my story; and then being able to be the support for other people… That brought so much power into my life.”

Charly Jaffe

On fear, turning our pain into power, owning our story, learning from our crisis, enjoying life…

  • Charly had a few challenging moments in her life… That turned out to be her greatest teachers. [2:16]
    • The things we try to run away from don’t just disappear, they come back in different ways; and often times we can’t tell, these things that are coming back, why they are there.” Charly Jaffe
    • Finally “I used them as teachers and sign-posts to look at different parts of myself. […] It gave me the tools to live a life so full, that at the end of it I can look back and say: “Yeah I did that well.” Charly Jaffe
  • Taking care of our health… Physical AND mental health.[5:58]
    • The very special sense of flow we have during times of crises: “Those moments were so demanding that I was actually totally present.” Charly Jaffe
    • But what happens when the peak of the crises is over? “No one said [I should mentally struggle after my time in the hospital], so I shouldn’t be having this.” Charly Jaffe
    • “I didn’t know that post traumatic stress experiences can actually show up months later.” Charly Jaffe
    • We prepare ourselves for running a marathon months in advance, but unfortunately in mental health often we don’t look into it until we are in a place of crisis.
    • A lot of time, we don’t know how to show up to support people who are supporting the people. And it’s those care-givers that can be the make-or-break.” Charly Jaffe
  • Changing our view on what “crises” is, to better deal with it. [11:20]
    • “How are we able to dance with fear? ” Charly Jaffe
  • We tend to see health as binary: I’m healthy / unhealthy… But it is more of a spectrum. And recognizing the signs early on is a game changer to going into the full crises. [16:20]
    • So many people don’t recognize they have a problem, until the signs are so big they can’t ignore them anymore.
      The biggest obstacle for asking for help was my own ego; was me thinking: I’m strong, I don’t need help.” Charly Jaffe
    • Seeing our mental and emotional patterns, and accepting them, instead of pushing away… That is strength!
    • “It doens’t mean that the storm gets easier, but our toolbox becomes wider.” Charly Jaffe
    • “If you’re only looking at these really hard things, and then how I came out of it, and you don’t see [the low moments], then I’m part of the problem; because then that creates false expectation.” Charly Jaffe
  • Resilience and post traumatic growth: The more that we are shaken (to a certain degree), it shakes our view of the world. [23:32]
    • The key to growth is that uncomfortable period.
    • Resilience is all the time: When you are in the low, that is when you need and are doing resilience.
  • What was the shift from these times of crisis, to who Charly is today? [25:24]
    • The long process to stepping away from her life, and enquiring: Without all these things, Who am I?
    • Desperation can be an incredible tool, because it opens us to things, that we would have otherwise never have seen.” Charly Jaffe
    • “We do the best we can, and sometimes the best we can looks like harming ourselves. And what looks like harming ourselves is actually trying to numb or to cope with this amount of pain that we feel we can’t hold.” Charly Jaffe
    • “I was able to forgive the men that assault me before I was able to forgive myself.” Charly Jaffe
    • Forgiveness, more than being about the other person, is about freedom internally… Yet it has to come in its own time; it comes after tapping into that rage, anger, and / or that sadness that is there.
    • Using these challenges as teachers, that doesn’t only take work; that takes time.” Charly Jaffe
  • If we talk before we are ready, that can do more damage.” Charly Jaffe [36:19]
    • Emotions are a huge source of energy… So how can I use this energy instead of fighting it when I perceive it as “negative.”
    • The common resistance of not wanting to be defined by our struggles, and how until we own our story, we are unknowingly defining ourself from it.
    • How our relationships improve when we are open, and therefore implicitly give permission to all the people around us to open, too.

Who is Charly Jaffe

Charly is a crisis counselor, best-selling author and captivating advocate for emotional health. With a background spanning industries and continents, she produced stories for BBC News, co-ran an Australian yoga school and was an award-winning Google strategist.

However, her greatest teachers have come from her gravest challenges – losing her dignity, her mind and nearly her life. Now, she guides people through the conversations we often run from, uncovering the treasures on the other side.

She is currently a graduate student at Columbia University’s Department of Counseling and Clinical Psychology.

And she just wrote her first book together with her dad: Turning Crisis Into Success: A serial entrepreneur’s lessons on overcoming challenge while keeping your sh*t together (it is available on Amazon)

Where can you find Charly Jaffe?

Charly Jaffe’s book: Turning Crises Into Sucess

Find more on the book’s website: http://www.crisisintosuccess.com

The end of the conversation: episode 2


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