Looking inward and changing yourself first, with Kim McDonnel – Integrally Alive podcast

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Kim McDonnel is a holistic Health Coach and Spiritual Counsellor, author of the book, “You Change, They Change: How to Take Control of Your Life by Losing Control Over Others”.   In today’s episode, Kim shares her own journey, healing her inner “sensitive child”, and multiple sclerosis, and the wisdom gained on the way: how the chemicals in our body influence our thoughts, toxic thoughts, resilience, why we need to express our emotions, and how to do it in a healthy way, tips to getting back into balance, and stopping to wait for others to change in order to move forward in your life…


  • 1:16 Kim’s journey: from being labeled “sensitive child” and trying to fit in, developing multiple sclerosis, to healing her inner child, and coming back to health.
  • 3:10 Understanding who you are and how it manifests in the world: “suppressing how you feel to make someone else feel good is really manipulation“. How she dropped a people-pleaser mentality and healed her relationships.
  • 5:35 Nothing is permanent: sickness is a state, it can be changed. Shifting your biology: toxic hormones, toxic thoughts.
  • 9:00 Choosing to respond instead of react. Feeling the emotions and thoughts, and NOT acting on it. Taking the opportunity to grow: post-traumatic growth.
  • 10:55 This happens to EVERYBODY. We all have this chemicals in our bodies!
  • 12:00 Helping children to express their emotions in a healthy way: the angry pillow, counting down.
  • 14:20 From toxic thoughts to toxic chaos. How to recognize when you fall out of balance and tools to get back.
  • 18:35 Victim state: How we can delay the healing by identifying ourselves with the problem.
  • 19:45 “You change, they change“: realizing that being toxic to ourselves has a negative impact on others around us.
  • 21:25 Resilience is a muscle, on using questions to heal.
  • 23:15 Staying in a state of love and above, addressing how I feel, and the physical reasons behind it.
    If you’re in your head and thinking and over-thinking, that’s a clue that you’re not in balance.
  • 24:20 Tools for getting back in balance: Journaling as a way to express those thoughts and emotions. Writing to expose the deep thoughts to the conscious you; seeing the fear and changing it into an excitement for change.
  • 27:00 Tools number 2: gratitude list to go back to when everything seems hopeless.
  • 28:15 Tools number 3: meditation & breath.
  • 30:35 Tapping into your inner wisdom: you have the answers! How claiming your responsibility over your life helps you finding your power back.
  • 32:10 Rewriting your story, and stop blaming others for your situation. Looking inward and changing yourself. What lenses are you looking through? Connecting the dots after the experience.
  • 36:50 Keys to healing: acknowledgment, expressing, and remembering that it is an on-going journey. And it gets easier! With awareness, you won’t find yourself suddenly overwhelmed by the situation.

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