This summer I was at a speaking event, and heard the story of a woman, who shared how she overcame depression and wanting to kill herself. A very brave thing to do, especially on stage; and so needed, too, because the stigma on these topics is literally killing people, who otherwise would speak up and ask for help.
So when she sat back, right next to me, I turned to her and thank her for her courage, expressing that I know how difficult it can be to talk about suicide. She looked at me with surprise, and answered that she never thought about her story as “suicide”.
Now I was surprised.
You would think that “killing yourself” and “suicide” mean the same thing, isn’t it?
Well apparently it is not that obvious!
This is quite a dramatic example, but we do this in a lot in our life: We use words to make the situation sounds more acceptable.
There is a sentence I hear many variations of in my coaching practice: “I’m fine, I’m just very very busy.” Well OK then, it sounds like you don’t need much help; everything is under control… Or the illusion of control?
A word I used a lot was “tired”.
And I came to realise that sometimes, I was tired and I needed some rest. And sometimes, something was wrong; and my tiredness was a sign that I needed to change something.
Basically it meant that I was bored and uninspired by what I was doing, and needed to reconnect to, you know… What makes me feel alive! 😉
My passion and joy, things like doing this podcast for example.
I had this elephant in the room, and it was hiding behind “tired”
The thing is, until I called it by its real name, nothing I would do would change the situation. Of course! Because nothing I could do to resolve “being tired”, would solve “being uninspired”. Quite the opposite, even, as resting is not super inspiring for me.
I learned to recognise it. Now I know that when I feel that kind of “tired”, I need to look at the elephant behind. And I can do it before it has grown so big I can’t ignore it, the sooner the better!
Does it ring a bell to you?
What I’m really talking about here is awareness.
Awareness is THE key & first step to any transformation
Unless you say hello to the elephant in the room, it’s not going anywhere. It wants love and attention, like everyone.
I will talk more about elephants, and how to hug them, in later episodes.
But for now, tell me: Can you recognise this in your life?
And maybe it is not you, but it was before, or you know someone…
Can you see a word any elephant is hiding behind?
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Stay tuned for the next episode, à bientôt. 😉