This year has been great for loneliness hasn’t ?
But the thing is, while this year and a half now has been really low on opportunities of just meeting and being around people…
Meeting and being around people is not the cure for loneliness. It’s not enough!
We need meaningful connections.
On loneliness, meaningful connections, networking events, meetups, authentic relating, and having fun…
I know that well: I’m moving around quite a bit… Usually; These days a lot less.
So I’m often the new kid on the block, knowing no one in the place where I just arrived.
I visit quite a few social gatherings, from social meetups to networking events, and whatever name you give it. And often it feels like
something is missing.
I usually find basically two type of events: the casual social meetups, and the networking events.
Social meetups and the three Jackpot questions
In social meetups, often coming right from the beginning, most of the time I hit the three social questions jackpot: “What’s your name? Where you from?What do you do?”
And after a bit of answering those questions again and again and again… I can tell you after years of that, I’m kind of allergic to these questions.
I’m not saying you should never ask those questions, but when all of your evening kind of is answering to those repeating questions it can be really tiring.
Networking events and the “agenda”
Now in the networking events it is a bit different. Due to the nature of these meetings, people usually have an agenda, and it is more or less subtle.
So you you can feel like you’re walking business cards more than humans. And they will have some sort of idea of where you stand in their world: Could you be a partner? Could you be a client? Could you be… Anyway, it’s not about you.
It’s what you could be to their business.
So it’s biased from the beginning. And if you have ever been like I have on the receiving end of what you think is a friendly conversation, but then after a while you realize: “No, no way… You are actually trying to sell me your stuff, aren’t you?” You know that it’s doesn’t feel great.
Meeting lots of people, connecting to no-one… Social fatigue
In a lot of these meetings, I meet a lot of people, but I feel like I connect to no one. It’s so superficial.
And there comes social fatigue. One of its faces is that you have a lot of interactions, but it’s not nourishing. And it can be really draining; to the point where after a few of those, if this keeps repeating, you might find yourself, as I have, seriously asking
yourself before going to an event: “Do I have the energy today to be drained if it ends up being this kind of superficial meeting.”
I sometimes have decided not to go to events because I just wasn’t in the mood for another jackpot “Where are you from…” kind of interaction. And I know that I’m far from being the only one, especially in the nomad community.
Deep connections and being too serious
On the other end of the spectrum of meetups, you have authentic relating, circling, and all the deep connection workshops.
These are great opportunities to finally learn and interact human to human. And it’s really nourishing, but it’s also almost exclusively workshops.
Sometimes I just want to spend nice time talking to friendly humans. Just a fun evening. I don’t want to do workshops all the time.
The solution: Deep connection, real fun! meetups
That’s why I am offering this social meetup, created with meaningful connections in mind.
Fun like social meetups, and meaningful connections
Just a little bit of authentic relating exploration in the beginning, to put everyone in the same mindset and avoid the jackpot and all kinds of agenda… Make sure we connect from Human to Human.
But then we quickly switch to social gathering, and apply this authentic relating mindset to enjoy meaningful connections in a casual setting.
The Deep connection, real fun! mindset
It comes down to mainly four most important things:
- Be kind, towards you and others.
- Be curious? No agenda, and ask questions instead of assuming things about people.
- Be playful, because again,
girlsI just want to have fun! Workshops are great, but this, I want it to be a fun and relaxing time.
- Be lovingly unapologetic. Here, you can be authentic, you can drop your mask. We want you to be the whole of who you are. We want you to be you, not anyone else.
Who is it for?
Everyone is welcome.
That said, I’m a solopreneur, and a nomad, and from my own experience and talking with friends and clients, I know that it’s way easier to feel lonely when you are working on your own, every day, like solopreneurs & freelances! It’s obviously easier to feel
lonely when you meet less people.
On top of that, if you’re also any kind of nomad or location independent person… Bingo! You hit the jackpot; Another one, this one is the jackpot for loneliness.
So I really had myself, in mind quite honestly, and solopreneurs, nomads, location independent, kind of people.
That said, if you relate to what I’m saying and you feel like “Oh, fuck yeah! I really need that!”… If you want to meet people in a more authentic way, you’re welcome.
Yeah, you too.
How can you join the next meetup?
- This happens once a week.
- It is free.
- It is online.
And all the info you need is here: Deep connection, real fun! meetups.
(Intro music for the podcast: “Tiny people”, by Alexei De Bronhe )
Lonely yet not alone… How to create deep connection – Integrally Alive Podcast
Another take on the “lonely yet not alone” syndrome: