Do you have your personal version of a “year from Hell”?
Rick does, and that is what he shares in his book “The price of Heartbreak”. On the podcast, he shares his story and how getting comfortable with the uncomfortable got him to place he didn’t dare to go, like vulnerability. Discover why it is even more difficult for men than women to open up to it, and how Rick discovered and used emotional intelligence to heal.
This is only the first part of the interview, stay tuned for next week’s episode with the end, and more on emotional intelligence, relationship and how men and women can communicate better, and much more.
” It was a cycle of getting to the rim of the hole I was in, and not quite getting out of it. It was a conscious decision I had to make (… that …) I had to do something.” Rick Sharpe
On depression, heartbreak, relationships, emotional intelligence, vulnerability, storytelling, journaling…
I just woke up one morning and looked up at myself in the mirror and it is almost as if I didn’t recognize that person I was looking at anymore. We have this deep rooted thing inside us around survival, and I just kind of came to the surface, and I had to do something.
- The story behind the book “The price of a Heartbreak” and the healing power of journaling: “It is something I had to get out of my head, then it took a life on its own.” Rick Sharpe [02:06]
- The value of having a historical path to reflect on: “I could see a tangible growth experience unfolding.” Rick Sharpe
- And a great tools to recognize what is going on: “That is the kind of moments when you have to look at yourself in the mirror and accept who you are. And to do that you got to understand how you got there.” Rick Sharpe
- The three phases Rick went through for healing [12:17]
- Sometimes we get caught into a downward spiral without realizing it: “I had to accept that where I was was not acceptable for me.” Rick Sharpe
- Understanding how did I got here and accepting responsibility for you life.
- Take action.
- Embarking on the life-long journey of “presenting a better version of myself tomorrow than today”. [15:20]
- The importance of being kind to our-self.
- The difference between self-love and self-complacency. [19:10]
- Especially in depression for example, some days there is no will to get out of bed, and we need to allow what is happening and feel into it without adding guilt or shame. And some times, it is just an excuse for not doing what would be best for ourselves, but feels difficult.
- “It was a cycle of getting to the rim of the hole you were in and not quite getting out of it. It was a conscious decision I had to make (… that …) I had to do something.” Rick Sharpe
- Having people around you who can see what is going on can help to get out of the tunnel vision we get caught into.
- What speaking out changes: Everything! [23:05]
- We fear rejection when we talk about our struggles and choose vulnerability. Yet “The more you do it the easier it becomes. There is nobody who is going to come back at you saying that you are doing something that is not helpful for yourself.” Rick Sharpe
- “We are so good at hiding how we feel, and the torment.” Rick Sharpe [26:03]
- Sometimes we do so to keep people around us comfortable.
- It is like we all are waiting for someone to understand us, but we cannot be understood unless we speak out. And the first who speaks, allows all the others to do so.
- We have these expectations, ingrained by our society and our education, about what a man should be, and it makes it even more difficult for men to talk about emotions. [31:03]
- “When we get into a relationship, because we’ve been pigeonholed in being that tough guy; we are the provider, and the mentor, and the guardian, and the protector, and all these things… It’s overwhelming! (…) We don’t want to talk about anything that will make us vulnerable, any less of the man that the person married. (…) So when you loose you job and cannot be the provider anymore, for example, you can feel like now you are less of a man. And they internalize, they don’t talk about it. And they get to a point of “I can’t do this anymore.” .” Rick Sharpe
- Men and women communicate differently… But we can learn to understand each other! [36:00]
- “It is about communication that is open, and understanding, and that creates a higher awareness of where you are as an individual.” Rick Sharpe
Who is Rick Sharpe?
Rick worked as an air traffic controller for 20 years, and is a Master Life Coach and an Emotional Intelligence and Mindfulness Facilitator.
He wrote a book called “The Price of Heartbreak”, inspired from what he calls his “year from hell”; that was also the beginning of a new chapter in his life, where he has learnt from experience how getting out his comfort zone was a key element of growth and becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable most days.
He developed a method called the A.U.R.A method (Acknowledge, Understand, Responsibility, Action) that helps people who struggle emotionally. Today he is committed to sharing his journey of growth with others to inspire and connect.